Consent Makes for a Better Party

At the Sauce, we believe in creating spaces where everyone can explore, connect, and enjoy erotic energy with mutual respect and intentionality. Nearly no one wants their partner—whether at the Sauce or in bed at home—to have a bad time or feel disturbed or violated.

We all want our connections to feel amazing for ourselves and our partners. Achieving this means applying high-quality attention, awareness, and proactive communication throughout every stage of connection: from the moment you consider approaching someone, during the encounter itself as it evolves, and even after it’s over.

Each interaction requires us to be present, observant, and intentional. For instance, your approach to someone should reflect how well you know them. With strangers, tread lightly—you don’t know their history, preferences, or boundaries yet. Adjusting your behavior based on familiarity is essential for creating connections that feel safe and inviting.

Consent is also fluid; it can change at any time during an interaction. Body language often tells us more than words, so it’s important to notice if someone seems uncomfortable. If they pull back, then pause, check-in, or disengage entirely.

Timing matters, too. A touch that feels welcome after building trust can feel invasive if offered too soon. Slow down and let familiarity build naturally.

• Key Practices for Consent:
  
  
  • Reflect on your relationship with the person—is it a stranger, a friend, or a partner?
  • Pay attention to body language and stop to check in if you notice discomfort.
  • Be specific about what you’re asking—consent for one activity doesn’t mean consent for all.
  • Avoid rushing or pressuring—build connection gradually and with care.
  • Be mindful of power dynamics and how they might affect someone’s comfort or agency.

Above all, consent should never involve pressure. No one should feel rushed, coerced, or pushed into anything. Instead, create an atmosphere of high-quality attention, where your interest feels like an invitation rather than an expectation. When we commit to consent with a growth mindset, we recognize that mistakes are part of the journey. Each encounter offers an opportunity to learn, improve, and deepen our connections.

Agency: Personal Choice in Relation to Others

While consent is about mutual agreement, agency is about owning your ability to act independently within the container of the Sauce. Relying on others to know your boundaries for you or assuming they’ll always ask before acting places you in a vulnerable position. Agency and consent work together like two feet—both are essential for navigating erotic exploration respectfully.

At the Sauce, agency means recognizing that everything is optional. You’re always at choice to engage or decline any activity, even when invited by a workshop leader or someone in authority. If something feels “weird” or off, pause and pay attention to those cues. Often, we don’t immediately recognize when something isn’t right—our task is to shorten that gap by tuning into our body’s subtle signals.

Power dynamics also affect agency. If you’re younger, smaller-bodied, BIPOC, queer, or new to the scene, bolster your self-awareness and support systems. Gravitate toward people and interactions that feel exciting and safe, and disengage from those that don’t. Avoid staying in an interaction out of guilt, pity, or a desire to be nice—your boundaries matter.

Self-knowledge is the foundation of agency. Understanding your own needs, desires, and limits allows you to navigate connections with confidence and clarity. If something feels off, talk about it. Say, “I feel funny, can we stop?” or seek out support from a friend, an Angel, or Bez. These conversations are how we build trust and contribute to a safer, more intentional environment.

• Key Practices for Agency:
  
  
  • Trust your instincts. If something feels off, stop and reassess.
  • Be mindful of power dynamics, especially if you’re younger, smaller-bodied, or new to the scene.
  • Gravitate toward interactions that feel aligned and safe; disengage from those that don’t.
  • Avoid engaging out of guilt, pity, or obligation.
  • Communicate discomfort as early as possible: “I feel funny, can we stop?”
  • If someone doesn’t listen to your no, relocate your body and go get help. 

Most of us override our knowing many times in our lives. We feel pressured and don’t exercise our agency. When this happens, self-forgiveness is important. Exploring eroticism involves risks, and no one gets it perfect every time. You may override a “no” or deny a “yes”—that’s part of learning. Be kind to yourself, seek support, and use these moments to grow stronger. Together, we can create a culture at the Sauce where exploration feels empowering, intentional, and deeply rewarding.